These are the days of Miracle & Wonder!

Jesus explains Lent to the disciples

He knows the score.

"So what," I hear you ask, "is the Shahid-Rowe household doing for Lent?"

Well (replied Mr Rowe), we've effectively been fasting for 3 weeks already, due to our Paleo Month, which explains the lack of pancakes yesterday.  Therefore, the idea of giving up even more than grains, sugars, pulses and other non-hunter-gatherer-type* foods is not exactly on our radar, especially since Maria is barely getting enough into her to stay alive anyway.

But I like Lent, and I want to 'do it'.

So what we've decided is to give up the 'giving up' side of the Fast, to sidestep it and instead use this period of the Church calendar to instil certain otherwise-lacking disciplines into our lives.  I won't give you the whole list, but for example, every day until Easter I am going to be spending 20 minutes sitting in silence.  Something I've always planned/wanted to have a go at, but never got round to.

And may God use the season to transform our hearts and lives.  Amen.

*TRIPLE HYPHENED WORD - I WIN!!!

loves

DIETS: the cause of all war & suffering on Earth

Maria & I are going Paleo for a month - see here.

Which gives me the perfect excuse for a gratuitous PG Wodehouse quote:

It has sometimes seemed to me (said Mr Mulliner, thoughtfully sipping his hot Scotch and lemon) that to the modern craze for dieting may be attributed all the unhappiness which is afflicting the world today.

Women, of course, are chiefly responsible.  They go in for these slimming systems, their sunny natures become warped, and they work off the resultant venom on their men-folk.  These, looking about them for someone thay can take it out on, pick on the males of the neighbouring country, who themselves are spoiling for a fight because their own wives are on a diet.

Before you know where you are, war has broken out with all its attendant horrors.

[from 'The Juice of an Orange' in Blandings Castle]

I Like Big Props and I Cannot Lie

[click the title below to listen]

Props

I like big props and I cannot lie
You rugger-lovers can't deny
That when you see the fat boys scrumming down
With a 'crouch-touch-pause-engage'
You feel chuffed
With a proud chest out-puffed
Cos you know those props look tough

Deep in the mud at Twickers
You'll find a dumb ox like Vickers
Or maybe, it's a swampy fixture
Like Fran Cotton in that picture

Some League fans tried to recruit me
But with scrums like that - please!
Someone shoot me!
Ooh, God Almighty
I like to see them feisty
So scrummage, boys, scrummage
Use that epic tonnage

We've all seen them playing
Stuck in, with no complaining
They sweat, threat, keep going in dry or wet

I tire of old Australia
With a front row that's a failure
It's an average team, easy to stop
If you don't believe in props

So fellas, fellas - does that front row make you proud?
Then praise them, raise them; sing their names out loud.
Rugby needs props

[eighteen stone with a face like coleslaw]

I like them round and big
Ugly like a pig
I would not love this game if the scrum was dropped
And we lost our props
Those cauliflower ears
Say no - double up - no fears
Not talking about half-breaks
When a prop sidesteps, the Earth shakes!

I like them real thick like a brick
Ruck over
If you want that ball quick
On my perfect rugby canvas
Is a front-row hand-off
In the face of a stand-off

With legs like Os du Randt
Big and wide like an African elephant
Solid in the rear
Like that Tongan, Soane Tonga'uiha

Why not?
A blood-clot mug-shot
Fat and squat like Gareth Chilcott
Pretty-boy face like Graham Roundtree
And harder than an iron foundry
Running wild in a strop
Like a triceritops
We need to love our props

So ladies, ladies - how d'you feel about having more babies?
If you feed them lard and beer by the yard
They'll be madder than dogs with rabies
Rugby needs props.

Why I like David de Gea

Reason 1 - He's BRILLIANT.

Reason 2 - He's AWFUL.

Brief explanation.

There is beauty in brilliance tarnished (or emphasised?) by frailty.  Knowing who we are at our best and at our worst - being humble when successful, strong when screwing up - is at the heart of making the most of our time on Earth.

a caveat to prefix any sermon of worth

If by grace what I say has in any respect any validity,
it is, of course, only one facet of a truth incalculably rich.

JRR TOLKIEN, 'On Fairy Stories', 1939.

Spring

I was out for a walk this morning - probably about 11 miles of Cornwall passed under (or stuck to) my boots.  After about an hour and a half of being oblivious, I started to notice that nature is busy having babies: daffodils (some out, most not), buds appearing on the hawthorn, catkins on the hazel.  As you can see.

Usually we think that Spring begins when leaves start to unfold, but it's not true: the new life of the new season is poking through now, whether or not we spot it.

Theological application: many of the things we have been hoping for, praying for, acheing for have already begun.  They are already here.  Don't be overwhelmed by the absence, keep your eyes open for the presence.

But Seriously ...

The following is a quote from Ayatollah Khomeini.  I'm not quoting him to claim that his words are somehow representative of Islam - that's not my point (and I don't know anyway).

I want to share the quote because of its unbelievably defective view of the nature of God, and because often it's easier to see what is good and true by contrast.  Read on:

Allah did not create man so that he could have fun.
The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer.
An Islamic regime must be serious in every field.
There are no jokes in Islam.
There is no humour in Islam.
There is no fun in Islam.
There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious.
AYATOLLAH KHOMEINI

If you wish, you could (and probably should) compare with this:

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.
GK CHESTERTON

Short thankfulness

Dear God,
Today I experienced my first Chinese tea ceremony,
walked for three and a half hours through lanes & by streams,
and had my ego boosted by passing 500 followers on Twitter.
Now, reading Born Free with my feet up and a piece of cake,
I wanted to stop & say thankyou.
Amen.

Prayer of St Jason the Spiritualized

Please Lord, may I be wrong.
Cos when men are right, they are not young.

Please Lord, may I be foolish.
Cos when men are wise they're not satisfied.

Please Lord, may I be lonely.
Cos when men have friends, they're reckless.

And please Lord, may I be helpless.
Cos when men are strong, they're dangerous.

And please Lord, put a tiny little spring in my step...

 

Quoting John Stott

John Stott died last summer: a man with huge influence and authority - the present healthy state of evangelicalism within the CofE is in no small part down to him - and someone of whom I was naturally suspicious, mainly due to the people who claimed him as their leader.  Plus he really didn't get postmodernism.

But when you actually get to read the guy, he was clearly a brilliant, original and orthodox believer; the kind of person, in short, who is worth following.  Chris Wright said, 'He was, for all of us who knew him, a walking embodiment of the simple beauty of Jesus, whom he loved above all else.'

Here are some examples of his thoughts:

'Christianity is not primarily a theological system, an ethical system, a ritual system, a social system or an ecclesiastical system – it is a person: it’s Jesus Christ, and to be a Christian is to know Him and to follow Him and believe Him.'

'To become Christian is in a real sense to become human... But to assert joyfully that salvation includes humanisation is not at all the same thing as saying that humanisation (rescuing men from the dehumanising process of modern society) equals salvation.'

'The debate about the rival merits of evangelism and social responsibility is never necessary. It expresses an unbiblical dualism between body and soul, this world and the next.'

'Every Church should be engaged in continuous self-reformation.'

'Before Christ sent the Church into the world he sent the Spirit into the Church. The same order must be observed today.  Without the Spirit, the Word is a lifeless and dead letter.'

'What people want is an easy-going syncretism, a truce in inter-religious competition, a mishmash of the best from all religions. But we Christians cannot surrender either the finality or the uniqueness of Jesus Christ. There is simply nobody else like him; his incarnation, atonement and resurrection have no parallels. In consequence, he is the one and only mediator between God and the human race. This exclusive affirmation is strongly, even bitterly, resented. It is regarded by many as intolerably intolerant. Yet the claims of truth compel us to maintain it.'

'The devil hates the gospel and uses all his strength and cunning to obstruct its progress, now by perverting it in the mouths of those who preach it, now by frightening them into silence through persecution or ridicule, now by persuading them to advance beyond it into some fancy novelty, now by making them so busy with defending the gospel that they have no time to proclaim it.'

'We have the means to evangelise our country; but they are slumbering in the pews of our churches.'

'Listen to the world’s many discordant voices: the cries of the poor and oppressed, the questions of the bewildered, the sighs of the hurting... We are called to double listen. We listen to the Word of God to believe and obey it and we listen to the modern world to sensitively understand it.'

Step into the Road

 

It's a dangerous business going out of your door.
You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet,
there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.

BILBO

 

This is just an excuse to post the first poster for the Hobbit, AND to utilise one of the guiding quotes I endeavour to live in the light of.  Compare:

Thomas said, "Master, we have no idea where you're going.
How do you expect us to know the road?"
Jesus said, "I am the Road."

Vaclav Havel: Wonder as an end in itself

The recently-deceased Vaclav Havel, the Czech playwright-philosopher who became liberator and president, is worth listening to.  He thought our greatest shortcoming was pride in our own understanding:

'Strange things are happening and will happen. Not to bring oneself to admit it is the path to hell. Strangeness, unnaturalness, mystery, inconceivability... Until they are released and allowed to return to our minds things will not go well.

'Wonder... is, after all, the first impulse to the question: "What purpose does it all have?" "Why does it all exist?" "Why does anything exist at all?" We don’t know and we will never find it out. It is quite possible that everything is here in order for us to have something to wonder at. And that we are here simply so that there is someone to wonder...

'In all events, I am certain that our civilisation is heading for catastrophe unless present-day humankind comes to its senses. And it can only come to its senses if it grapples with its short-sightedness, its stupid conviction of its omniscience and its swollen pride, which have been so deeply anchored in its thinking and actions.'

[quote pinched from Archbishop Cranmer]

Yeah, but No

A bit of a turnaround.

After being 'in discernment' for 18 months, I found out last Wednesday that, since Maria & I want to spend time living near our family in the States in the not-too-distant future, the Church of England can't sponsor me for ordination training (regardless of whether they think I'm a good candidate or not).

So all our plans have to change.

Just in case you're worried about our consequent mental state, I should add that we're not depressed by this news, even though it isn't what we were hoping for. We're actually feeling very positive, especially since it opens up new possibilities.

[For example, we'll probably be leaving Cornwall and moving across the Pond before too long (I'll look into pursuing ordination from that side, almost certainly), which is exciting because we won't have to wear thermal socks quite so much.]

Sorry if you heard about this in such an impersonal way.

This is what Charleston, our probable future home, looks like from space:

[click for bigger]

The Aroma of Literature

22° halo

[If I'd been on the ball, this is the photo I would have taken at Stefan & Kirsten's on Wednesday]

Hedge Rowe

I must have eaten 60+ blackberries this morning.  Is this normal for the 2nd week of November?  Nature's generosity seems to know no bounds for me.

Today (Monday) is my day off, so I went for a walk.  Or to be more accurate, a wander: I knew where I was aiming for (home) but allowed myself to discover the route as I went.  The idea is to become an explorer and a frontiersman, within miles from my door.  This was today's amble:

The secret is to let your life be planned enough that you actually get home, but unplanned enough to allow yourself to be surprised and delighted at the things you discover.  For example, today I saw a herd of cows (with their bull) being herded by Range Rover.  Fricking brilliant.  If I had got their 20 seconds earlier, I'd have got it on video.

There is lots of lovely stuff out there if you expect to find it :)

Duncan Edwards

One of my favourite football stories:

In the winter of 1957, the Manchester United first team, the Busby Babes, were having a normal training session, led by Matt Busby and his assistant, Jimmy Murphy.  United were top of the table, reigning league champions and doing well in Europe; Busby's only real concern was that his talented young team might become complacent and take their brilliance and success for granted.

He decided to keep the players behind for an extra hour's practice, wherein each player would be told a weakness in his game and spend time turning their flaws into strengths.

Busby went down the line of players, kindly but firmly identifying weaknesses.  When he reached Duncan Edwards, Busby shrugged his shoulders and smiled.  "Go and get changed, Duncan," he said.  "See you tomorrow."

Love it.
-

 

A Theology of Dusty Springfield

This post has two purposes:
i. To make a slightly vulnerable autobiographical confession.
ii. To make more people listen to this song.  It may be the best in all history.

 

Question:  How would you feel if your best friend abruptly stopped talking to you?  And even when you asked them what was up, they still basically blanked you - acknowledging your existence, but not doing a whole lot more?  How would that feel?  Maybe you know already; I do.

My life used to be so so different, for one primary reason: God & I were on good terms.  I would talk to Him, and He would talk back.  I'm not really one for recalling whole conversations, but I distinctly remember being out walking (this was in New Zealand) and God telling me a joke.  We both laughed.

And then it stopped.  It stopped because He stopped; not just stopped talking, but stopped being - as if He withdrew all the tangibles of our relationship, all the 'presentness'.

It was very much a turning-point chapter in my life anyway.  Mid-2006: I had just left NZ, was in America, and Maria & I were in the midst of deciding to relocate our lives to be in the same place together.  So to suddenly go through that (and everything that came after) without my friend/guide/confidant was both weird and hard.  And that's how it's been ever since.

Point 1:  I totally respect God's right to be different to how I want Him to be, and even to change from one 'persona' to another.  As I've said before, He's my King, not my butler.
Point 2:  It hurts, very very much.

Dusty Springfield

[Have you listened to the song yet?  The following will make little sense unless you do ...]

Dusty in Memphis is one of those albums I have intentionally waited before buying - other examples are Astral Weeks, Blonde On Blonde, and Dark Side of the Moon.  Not sure if other people do this, but I do; it's kind of like leaving some of the best bits of the meal to the end rather than gorging yourself straight away.  Anyway, I finally got around to buying it about 6 weeks ago.

I had never heard 'Just One Smile' before, and it instantly stood out for me - a brilliant, brilliant song.  And then, about a fortnight ago, I was listening to it again and realised that I was welling up.  Why?

I don't ask for much; a look, a smile, a touch...

Just one smile - the pain's forgiven

I had tears in my eyes because these words say what I want to say to God.  It's not that I want everything to be exactly as it was (although that'd be nice) but that sometimes, all I long for is a nod or a smile from God to remind me that He still likes me, and that it'll be alright in the end.  I could endure virtually anything then.

Agnostics: Wimpy or Wise?

On Monday, God provided.

I had phoned up about seeing Ed Byne at lunchtime and was told that there were no pairs of seats available, but that I could pop in before the show and check for returns.  I did, and Maria & I got pretty much the best seats in the house.  Amen.  And happy birthday darling :)

Ed Byrne is one of the multitude of cradle-Catholics on the comedy circuit (Billy Connelly, Johnny Vegas, Peter Kay, Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle, Dara O'Briain, and many, many more) and isn't backward in coming forward on The God Issue.

But on Monday, the only real point he made on the matter was this [paraphrase]:

'I don't mind if you're a Christian or whatever; the ones I can't stand are the AGNOSTICS.  I mean, come on: if you've got to the age of forty and still aren't sure if you believe in God or not, sort it out!  Sit down and have a think!  Come to a fricking CONCLUSION!'

ie. Agnostics are fence-sitting, bet-hedging wimps.

Are they?

Or is the only true wisdom found in knowing that you know nothing?

26 things I love about Maria

 
1. The Eyes - they were the first thing that grabbed me, and still do.
2. Brain - from theology of glory to football stats.
3. The Goofy Dancing - not that she can't dance properly, but the goofy stuff kills me.
4. Massage Skills - she knows what my neck and shoulders need!
5. Perfectionism - aka 'inability to put up with crap'.


6. Love of Animals - from calves to bunnies to crustacea in rock pools, but especially Buster.
7. The Family #1 - Gary, Stephanie, Paul & Nick.
8. Being Silly Together - dancing in the car, dancing in the kitchen, dancing at a ceilidh ...
9. Americanity - giving me a chance to experience, know, and love the US.
10. Entrepreneurialism - she don't want no job working for the Man ...

11. Tastes and Preferences - see above [Berba + Glee + Single Ladies + Twilight = ?]
12. Musicalness - playing and singing together, in our lounge especially.
13. Grace - have you seen Maria dance/lead an exercise class/do some stretches?
14. Beer - for her, it's strong ale, porter, or nothing.  What a find!
15. Football - verging on idolatry?  Ha.

16. Being Lebanese - best flag in the world? possibly. Most loving people? I should think so.
17. Making up for my weaknesses - the list is long and the gratefulness immense.
18. The Hair - is BEAUTIFUL.  Short, long, straight, curly: all of them.
19. Voice - I got to know Maria via phone/Skype; I fell for her voice completely ...
20. Making Stuff - pottery, silversmithing, knitting, woodwork and many more to follow.

21. The Family #2 - all around the flipping world, from Sitty to Mary Kassis via Najib and Tony.
22. Sun Worship - well, someone had to introduce me to vitamin D, didn't they?
23. Style - Maria makes clothes look good.
24. Cooking - SILKZ.
25. Quality Time - how do we spend so much time together and not get bored or annoyed?
26. Dimitar Berbatov - it's kind of an extra-marital affair we are both involved in :)

 

Which jobs actually make you HAPPY?

CareerBliss.com conducted 200,000 employee questionaires in nine areas that affect job satisfaction: relationship with boss/co-workers; work environment; job resources; compensation/salary; growth opportunities; company culture; company reputation; daily tasks; and degree of control over work.

The result?  Look away now, you office-bound wage-slaving Dilberts ...

TOP 10 WORST/UNHAPPIEST JOBS

1. Director of Information Technology
2. Director of Sales and Marketing
3. Product Manager
4. Senior Web Developer
5. Technical Specialist
6. Electronics Technician
7. Law Clerk
8. Technical Support Analyst
9. CNC Machinist [factory operative]
10. Marketing Manager

TOP 10 BEST/HAPPIEST JOBS

1. Clergy
2. Firefighters
3. Physical therapists
4. Authors
5. Special Education Teachers
6. Teachers
7. Artists
8. Psychologists
9. Financial services sales agents
10. Operating engineers

And, if you include amateur focuses, I am 1, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 on the happy list!  Yay clergy!  Yay creative, people-centred living!

Hooker is my Homeboy

I've been given 'Being Anglican' to read, and never has a book with such an unpromising title been such a pleasure.  It's basically a survey of the thoughts of people who have made significant contributions to Anglican tradition: William Laud, Josephine Butler, George Herbert etc.  Great stuff.

But Richard Hooker is my favourite (and not just because I've walked past his statue at Exeter Cathedral hundreds of times).  His doctrine of participation; the interplay of scripture, reason and tradition; the steering clear of all claims to infallibility; the concept of tradition as a developing story - it all makes me relax and feel released and encouraged.  Well done him.

a contest I have no chance of winning

Maria & I are presently having our existence complimented by the presence of her brother, Nick Shahid (international tramp extraordinaire).  And seeing as we all had a free day today, a competition was in the offing.

THE CONTEST

Each player gets £10 and, starting at Newquay Car Boot Sale, must turn it into as much money as possible as quickly as possible.  Whoever gets most wins.

[At this point, you may wish to reflect on the fact that Maria & Nick are Lebanese, and therefore genetically incapable of not turning every circumstance into a business opportunity.  My chances of victory are slim.]

FIRST BUYS

Me: 1989 Gameboy with SuperMarioLand
Price: £3 [bartered down from £5]

Nick: Lions rugby shirt (2009 Tour), brand new
Price: £7 [down from £10]

Maria: 3 volume edition of Lord of the Rings, paperback, new and wrapped
Price: £4 [down from £10]

So, who do you think will win?  I know who my money is not on ...

My Happy Place

This has not been a happy summer.  Not wishing to be sued for libel, I will go no further than saying we've lost £1500+ by being screwed around by dishonest and incompetent lettings agents (and we only moved in the first place to save money).

Moving house - and all our stuff - three times (inc. two weeks house-sitting), in the midst of a generally busy time has been hard.  So why am I feeling alright?  Dear Reader, as an antidote to all stress and suffering, I give you cricket.

 

Cricket is not a sport, per se, more of an excuse to do very little when the weather's alright, with breaks for meals.  I've mentioned it before, but need to do so again, because some things need to be dwelt upon to get the fullest goodness out.

When we were being bullied by agents, being given references that were outright lies, and then being asked to fork out for the privilege, at least I knew that when all else fails I can always depend on Alastair Cook and Jonathan Trott.  I could go to my happy place and be safe there.

On Saturday, opening the batting under murky skies against top-of-the-table Chacewater, I carried my bat with 67 not out.  I've never got 30 before, let alone a half-century, so my free moments ever since have been spent re-visualising it - especially my six over midwicket, having come down the pitch to a seamer.

And we won, in fine style, which capped it all off very nicely.

Yesterday morning, under general anaethetic, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted - heaven knows what they had to do; two of them were completely submerged - and now I have to wash out my mouth with salt water and live on mushed up food, smoothies and rice pudding for a few days.  I can't work and it could be very boring, so why not watch through the highlights of England decimating India?

I grew up with the worst England team of all time, so now I'm determined to make the most of what we now have.  Cricket is proving a very happy happy place this year,